gUEsS whAt TiMe IT iS?   jOKe TiME!

BLONDE JOKES

1) Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?

               In case she had to draw some blood.

2)Why can't a blonde dial 911?

                She can't find the eleven.

3) A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.

"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband CHEATING ON HER with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

4) One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.

''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.

''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''

5) Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."

So they went home.

RANDOM FUNNY'S

1)  A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!"

The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down.

As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?"

The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me."

The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."

2)   A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When finally his work was done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground.

"I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted.

"So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."

*****THIS ONE IS FOR TRAVIS*****

3)  What is red and green and goes 100 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender !!!!!! lol

4)      Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea?

You didn't?! It's all over town!

annnddd.... thats all folks!

************************************************ I AM BORED AND HYPER, SO I AM GOING TO PUT JOKES ON HERE INSTEAD OF TELLING YOU ABOUT MY DAY BECAUSE ..... IT WAS BORING TODAY******************

hey everyone!

today i got a million away messages that are fantastico.... they r hillarious... do you wanna hear some samples????? you do!!!1  ok here we go!

example # 1 - you sound so chipper it makes me sick!

example # 2 - did you know that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population?

example # 3 - A B C D E F G,
                   Gummie bears are chasing me,
                   One is red and one is blue,
                   and a yellow one stole my shoe.
                    A B C D E F G,
                    Gummie bears are chasing me!

example # 4- I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.

for the rest of um... you can ask me seperatly.... now dont steal n e of them.... well i guess u can cuz now i have 24 of them and they are all beter than these! so.... i am really hyper!  i can wait until 5 hours!  well i'm out.. c u later!

HEY GUYS! THIS IS MY FIRST XANGA ENTRY!  IT TOOK ME A LITTLE LONGER TO CATCH ON, BUT HERE I AM! LOL SO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT MY SUMMER! 

 FIRST, I WAS IN LES MISERABLES...A FAMOUS SHOW AT FULLERTON COLLEGE.  THE COOLIO THINGY ABOUT THIS IS THAT I GOT 5 COLLEGE CREDITS!  YEAH YEAH! 

 ANYWAYS MOVING ON.  NEXT I WENT TO NYC FOR 10 DAYS WHERE I SAW 4 BROADWAY SHOWS.  I SAW : RENT, SMOKEY JOE'S CAFE, HAIRSPRAY, AND THOUROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE.  THE COOLIO THINGY ABOUT HAIRSPRAY WAS I GOTTA GO BACKSTAGE BECAUSE ALLIE MAUZEY WAS IN IT... (OUR PRINCIPAL'S DOUGHTER AND SISTER OF AIMEE OUR CHOIR'S COREOGRAPHER)  I WAS PRETTY SIKED! 

 I ALSO SAW A YANKEE GAME WHILE I WAS THERE...OUT OF THE VERY FEW TIMES THEY LOSE, THEY HAVE TO LOSE WHILE I AM IN NEW YORK SEEING THEM!  I WAS SO AGERVATED!  DONT LAUGH TRAV.... IT ISN'T FUNNY!  SO I SPENT A FEW DAYS IN THE CITY DOING.... UMMMM.... CITY LIKE STUFF AND IT WAS A TOTAL BLAST! 

OH YEAH I FORGOT.... I HAD MY BIRTHDAY IN NY ALSO.... SO THAT WAS FUN AND SINCE I HAVE SO MUCH FAMILY  OVER THERE, I MADE $675 TOTAL! PLUS GIFTS!  YES!  CAR $!!  ANYWAYS, I GOT DRIVING SCHOOL, AND SOME OTHER GOOD STUFF.... BUT I DONT WANNA TYPE IT ALL... MOVING ON...

SO I CAME HOME FROM NEW YORK AND A DAY LATER, MY CUZINS FROM MICHIGAN CAME FOR 10 DAYS... OMG I GET TO UNPACK AND THEN HELP MY 17 AND 18 YEAR OLD CUZINS PACK... LIFE ISN'T FAIR....BUT HEY.... THEY TOLD THIS COLLEGE GIRL I WAS A JUNIOR AND SHE BELIEVED THEM...!  WHAT AN IDIOT! LOL

OKAY SO MY CUZINS LEFT THIS MORNING, AND HERE I AM... TYPING ON MY COMPUTER BECAUSE I AM TO BORED TO DO ANYTHIGN ELSE AND BECAUSE IT IS TO EARLY TO CALL ANYONE AND NO ONE IS ONLINE, SO I AM A LOSER ALL BY MYSELF.....WAHHHHHH! NO JK.... LOL WELL I G2G SOMEONE JUST SIGNED ON.... HOPE YOU LIKED THE SUMMARY OF MY SUMMER!

MATT